Brexitmatosis – a cautionary tale with a happy ending

Once upon a time…

Pixie and Pearl were two white rabbits , sisters, who lived under the rolling green downs near the sea. Where the land ended there was a sharp drop to the rocky beach below , which was known as the Cliff Edge, near the Seven Sisters, no relation! They lived a happy carefree life , munching the luscious green grass and diving into their burrow whenever birds of prey hovered above.

They did not see many people as where they lived was out of the way and not the easiest of places to get to on foot  although some humans did visit, for the walks, fresh air and because they had heard that rabbits lived there. Years ago they had been virtually wiped out by a vicious monster called Myxomatosis, but their race had survived and returned.

One day they were woken by the sound of loud shouting. They rushed up from their underground home and sat upright, ears upright and whiskers quivering, to see what the reason for the uproar was.

They looked down into the valley and saw huge crowds of people, led by a large man with blonde hair which stood up and blew about in the wind, walking cheerfully towards the Cliff Edge. They were chanting “Take back control, we want our country back, 350 million for the NHS, no deal, we voted to Leave, will of the people.”

None of this meant anything at all to the rabbits of course, but they did wonder that going towards the Cliff Edge would have bad consequences.

“Why are those people rushing towards the edge of the cliff, they’re not birds they can’t fly,” said Pixie to her sister.

“Something is driving them to think it is a good thing,” said Pearl who was a slightly more worldly rabbit than gentle Pixie. “They think they can fly, but that’s strictly for the birds,” she added.

Before they could think or say anything else, the people were disappearing over the edge, like a waterfall cascading over the rocks, down to the sea below.

The rabbits dimly recalled the terrible disease, imported from a country far away, that had destroyed so many of their ancestors, and saw similarities between that and what was affecting the people below.

“I think this is something called Brexitmatosis,” muttered Pearl as they dived underground to escape the terrible scene they had had just witnessed.

And Pixie and Pearl lived happily ever after, because they didn’t hurl themselves off the Cliff Edge into the sea.


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