ONLY 0.3% OF VOTERS ARE BUYING IT : The Tory leadership contest has been referred to trading standards today over use of the word “leadership”.
”All these sales documents are dodgy,” Mr Demo Cracy, who initiated the complaint, says, “and the terms and conditions, the fine print, is lifted straight off fraudulent timeshare scam brochures from the 1970’s. The imagery is from a pizza takeaway firm. It’s amazing anyone is falling for it.”
Both the key figures in the contest are central to the complaint.
”We should really be complaining about the use of the word ‘contest’ too,” Mr Cracy continued, “What contest? From what we understand the result has already been decided in some backroom deal between the organisers and some chap who sells sugar.”
Trading Standards themselves have been so slow to comment, only admitting they are investigating the sales literature and checking if anyone who has signed up to the firm concerned actually understands what they’re getting.
”Maybe it’s just a massive trolling exercise by Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt?” Demo asked, “they could have been inspired by the great work done by Led By Donkeys and decided to help out. Prove the whole system of government, especially the choosing of the next prime minister, is a sham. But that’s being excessively optimistic. More likely it is just a sham. And a poo. But not the combined helpful kind.”
The Conservative Party itself has responded to the complaint though. It has said it is a con job, but what do you expect? It’s what their name starts with.
That honesty is refreshing, but it hardly makes up for the apparent inability to provide anything even loosely resembling leadership by whichever clown wins the contest.