Flash Trump dedicates memorial to colonial Hawkmen who defeated RAF in American War of Independence

DUMBER COMMAND : Flash President Donald Trump has dedicated a new memorial to the colonial Hawkmen who defeated the RAF in the American War of Independence.

The memorial, in the form of a giant Brian Blessed in aerial drag, has been erected under the orders of Donald Trump on the land in front of the Lincoln Memorial, mostly obscuring it from view.

”I have invited the leader of the Hawkmen, that great American hero, Flash Gordon to dinner at the White House to celebrate the sacrifices of himself and his men in the Battle of Merciless Ming over the Bay of Washington in 1777,” Trump told a small gathering, after giving his nurse the slip, “just the greatest cheeseburgers. And fries. Lots and lots of fries. It will be a great, great meal.”

And it won’t just be the food that will be memorable.

”My daughter Ivanka will mingle with the Hawkmen offering anecdotes about her work as Secretary of State. Just the greatest stories. The way she waves her hands make me proud. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. It falls into the tree’s lap.”

But historians have been quick to point out that Flash Gordon didn’t lead the Hawkmen in battle against the RAF.

”The Hawkmen weren’t formed as an official aerial militia until the mid-twentieth century,” a famous historian said, “so it’s possible Trump has both the forces involved, the technology, the combatants, the war itself and the dates confused.”

Others have been less kind and suggested that with Trump as Commander in Chief America has temporarily replced Bomber Command with Dumber Command.

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