BLACKADDER DOES BREXIT : The morale of Global Britons is in for a boost later this year with the news that General Melchett has been cast to play Dominic Raab in a biopic of the famous British explorer.
The film, given an ironic (intentional?) working title of “Can Do”, will focus primarily on the recent years of one of the great have a go heroes of modern Blighty.
We spoke to the driving force behind the project, Christopher Grayling, to learn more about this exciting cinematic masterpiece.
“I don’t have a lot to do these days,” Mr Grayling commented, “now that I’ve realised that you just have to send takeaway leaflets to companies providing transport services to government. So I figured, why not turn my hand to propaganda films in the service of Brexit?”
Why not indeed.
“And then I was musing on WW1. It’s a funny time. People used to wonder what sort of character would order the mass slaughter of their own men year after year? Off you go chaps. Take that machine gun nest. A can do attitude will see you through. Some of you may die, but you do so for empire. Well, we don’t ask that question anymore. Brexit has answered it. Just like Brexit has cracked the old nut, how did the Nazi’s rise to power? Ideology and nationalism over provable fact. That’s how. With the big questions out of the way, it was time to focus on the characters that are making modern Britain great.”
So it’s not just Raab who features in the film?
“No! Oh no. We’ve many in there. Baldrick and his cunning plans. That’s Iain Duncan Smith, so Baldrick is playing IDS. Genius. Boris Johnson is played by Blackadder. Theresa May by Nursie. Well, the list goes on.”
And what are the key moments?
“We focus on Raab’s discoveries. He’s discovered Dover. That’s a big one. He’s discovered that the problem with feminism is women talking. We address that. He’s discovered time. He’s discovered people using food banks just have a “intermittent cash flow problem”, which was really helpful. He also discovered he couldn’t negotiate Brexit. But most importantly, he’s discovered Raab.”
And what did he find there?
“A lot of bollocks and not much else.”
‘Can Do’ is to be released in the build up to Halloween this year and is certain to help Global Britons make a success of Brexit.