UK PLC, A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF USA TRUMP CORP – Certainty for voters and business leaders today with the announcement that CEO of America Corp, Donald Trump, is to deliver the next Queen’s speech, to open the new session of parliament.
“This is after it has been prorogued by Boris Johnson to get No Deal Brexit passed parliament,” a source inside Trump corp told LCD Views, “it’s about taking back control. It’s about restoring the sovereignty of parliament into the hands of a tiny hard right, fascist loving, kleptomaniac, faux Darwinian mangling, people hating clique.”
The unconventional move is being made to get the symbols of the UK sub inline with its new owner, after Boris Johnson and his friends have sold their country out lock, stock and barrel to corporate interests across the pond. Just to pretend they’re in power.
“Boris will be regional manager,” the source added, “and he’ll get to live rent free in the regional headquarters in Downing Street. He should be happy enough with that. Well, at least until he blows it and falls out with Trump.”
The delivery of the important speech will change too.
“It will still be delivered from the throne. Only now it will be in the early morning, Washington DC time, when Donald Trump performs his customary voiding of the night’s thoughts via tweet.”
But the text will have a refreshing familiarity.
“It’ll still begin with something like ‘My government’s priority is to secure the best possible price for the NHS’, so everyone knows what Brexit’s best dividend is. Then he’ll break with tradition and begin tweeting out who Boris will appoint as his cabinet. Ivanka Trump is going to be Home Secretary. John Bolton will do Defence. We haven’t thought about the rest, but you’re definitely going to see some changes in the prison sector. Wholly privatised with an emphasis on crime promotion for profit. Expect the war on drugs to ramp up in the UK. Anyway, not to worry, it’ll be tweeted out by Trump.”
UK plc, proudly serving the interests of billionaires in the USA, ever since a majority of the electorate fell asleep.