A PLAN SO CUNNING YOU COULD STICK A PIN IN IT AND CALL IT A GRENADE : Boris Johnson MP has almost definitely won the prize role of Baldrick in the Westminster farce ‘Blackadder does Brexit” after revealing he has a cunning plan for Brexit.
The audition for the role of the biggest lovable idiot was touch and go for a while, before Boris rescued himself with the detail of his harebrained scheme.
”He’s not very lovable,” our theatre critic commented, “Boris I mean. Baldrick always is, the beaten dog who just keeps showing up optimistically for more, always eager to help. But not Boris. He’s a little miscast. But as the only other actor who wants the role is Jeremy Hunt, well…spoiled for choice isn’t the lot of the casting director.”
But whatever the misgivings of casting a posh, entitled, lazy bully in the role of Baldrick, Boris’ grasp of the detail seems to have won the day.
But what is his cunning plan for Brexit?
”He’s going to take the UK’s entire wealth, and whatever shreds are left of its international reputation and spend it all on a giant turnip.”
That will be a No Deal Brexit?
”Yes. Apparently it’s his dream turnip.”
But critics of the plan fear the turnip will just end up squashed on Mr Johnson’s head out of frustration by Blackadder.
But who is playing Blackadder in the Westminster production of ‘Blackadder does Brexit’?
“That’ll be the great British public,” our critic replied, “we seem to have an endless ability to trust in the plans of idiots.”