COMING UP TRUMPS : Global Britain is set to take centre stage on the Washington stage after a famous photo of Neville Chamberlain was chosen to be the next U.K. ambassador to Trump’s USA.
”It wasn’t difficult,” an aide close to Boris Johnson (widely believed to have been instrumental in the constructive dismissal of the last ambassador) told LCD Views, “as we needed someone who properly symbolises our response to the Trump regime tearing children away from their families. Oh, and holding thousands of people in inhuman conditions in cages.”
What the photo itself thinks isn’t clear, but it’s presumed it’ll see the opportunity for career advancement and take it.
”Peace in our time,” the insider explained, “that’s the message. Let Donald Trump appoint and fire our diplomatic staff via tantrums on social media and let there be peace between tyrants, in our time.”
The news may come as a blow to some though.
”Oswald Mosley was in the running, but he’s dead and we don’t know where he is. So a no show is a no go.”
But Nigel Farage was also picked as a likely replacement to Kim Darroch. A man with experience on the world stage who could strike the right tone in diplomatic cables back from Washington. And fast too, as he’d just shout praise for the thin skinned, tiny handed, orange tyrant from a mobile LBC studio.
”Sadly he couldn’t take the post,” the insider shrugged, “he’s far too busy with his work as an MEP.”