We just couldn’t have a PM called Hunt say Tories

While it was always clear from the outset that Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson (because fuck it just look at him) was going to win the Conservative party leadership contest after Theresa May resigned as PM, it was never more obvious than when it was down to the final two candidates, himself and Jeremy Hunt.

A survey of party members has revealed what the rest of the country knew instinctively anyway. You just couldn’t have a prime minister called Hunt.

Two thirds of the party voted in favour of Johnson, the figures were revealed yesterday. That, Brexiteers, is a real majority.

A quick survey of those who voted for Johnson revealed the reasons. One of the younger voters, 49-year-old Hugh Knowitt, explained:

“Even though I like his politics, you just can’t have a PM called Hunt in this day and age. We don’t want to make it too easy for the general public to extract humour from him.”

Granted, the word they are thinking of does apply to Johnson (and most Tory MPs) as well, he does not have to put up with people using it in place of his actual surname name on a daily basis.

However it wasn’t just Hunt’s surname that caused so many people to vote for Johnson. Imogen “Immy” Grant-Hayter, 63, had another reason:

“No way I could vote for Jeremy as PM – I saw the ballot form and all I could think was Corbyn, so of course I voted for Boris.”

A natural enough reflex from a tory member I suppose.

So in the end it all came down to the candidates’ names. As a result we now have a prime minister called Alexander Balderdash And Piffle Johnson. And there’s nothing silly about that, oh no.

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