ONE HUNDRED MEGATONNES OF DUMB : Doctor Alexsandr Harrashaw, a professor of human behavioural studies made famous by inventing Boris Yeltsins, has declared today that the Soviet Cold War plan to weaponise idiocy and attack the West was a complete success.
”It’s just took a little longer to come to fruition than expected,” he added, “although the early results of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher allowed the programme to continue as a dark op after the fall of the Berlin Wall.”
Although Reagan and Thatcher are genuinely credited with being smart enough to win the first half of the Cold War 6-0, they also sowed the seeds of the economic fascism that is now eating Western democracies whole.
”What you do these days, this thing of juggling bits of imaginary paper about, and betting on real businesses failing? This is not capitalism. This is economic idiocy. This started with the deregulation of everything and the outsourcing of everything else to strip the public coffers and line the pockets of parasites. For me, this is a personal achievement.”
But now that the UK and USA have moved on to electing actual proven idiots, chancers, liars, cheaters and sociopaths to the highest offices of state, the weaponisation of idiocy is proven.
”Amnesia via tabloids is part of the package. Forget the hard earned, blood soaked lessons of history. Cease to cooperate. Tear apart the rules based orders and make fun of disabled people and minorities. You lot really are dumber than my wildest dreams.”
But isn’t the professor concerned about blowback?
”Yes. But it’s worth it. We have our money all through your political parties. To counteract weaponised idiocy they’ll [governing politicians] have to hurt themselves right where it hurts. In the pocket. Good luck with that! How you doing to do it when you’re at ground zero of dumb?”