Back Door Boris : British Bulldog downgraded to English Chihuahua

YAPPY AND IRRITATING : Great news today of the revolution continuing across England, and its regions like Scotland, with the confirmation that the British bulldog has been up cycled into an English Chihuahua.

“It was Boris leaving Bute House by the back door that finished the job,” a Downing Street spokesman said, “something of which we’re all immensely proud. He arrived all barrel chested and big teeth, but left with his tail between his legs after the Scots revealed his actual spirit animal is not a bulldog, but something much, much smaller.”

Of course back door Boris is a dead cat, as with everything Boris does. While we’re all laughing at how the Scots roared and he ran, the pound continues to plummet and the Brexit backers, with their hoarded foreign currency (presumably), continue to snap up UK assets at an artificially knocked down price.

“It’s still important though, no matter how successful the distraction,” the aide mused, “now that he’s the holder of executive power perception is vital. So if he’s perceived to be a yappy, spoiled little pedigree, overbred and undertrained, it isn’t great longer term. But we’re here for a good time, not a long time, so get purchasing those assets!”

We here at LCD Views have long mused that Boris is essentially a bully. We’re not going to win any prizes for that insight. But what do bullies do? They make a lot of noise, they cast a long shadow, but when confronted with actual risk, they run.

Back door Boris. Keep barking back and watch him go into hiding as fast as his little legs will carry him. No wonder he’s not going to meet the EU heads of state anytime soon. He maybe our prime minister, but he’s no British bulldog bruv.

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