EU : No basis for further Brexit talks while UK run by prime ministerial parody account

WHAT’S REAL : The EU has responded today to the waves of nonsense and make believe emanating from Downing Street with a clear statement of their own.

”There is no basis for further Brexit talks while the United Kingdom is being run by a prime ministerial parody account,” a Brussel’s spokesman shrugged, “we would like to talk. Of course we would. We’re very good at talking. After you triggered Article 50 with no plan at all we talked for three years to help you find a plan. We’ve done a lot of talking with you.”

An additional criteria for any further talks, alongside having an actual prime minister and not just a joke that got out of hand, is to do with the way the offshore, tax exile press barons of the UK operate.

”Wave after wave of nausea inducing, xenophobia laden, historically ignorant bombast published as a flanking attack to the mortared bollocks coming from Downing Street? Is this the way to manage a civil divorce? Sort yourselves out.”

What Downing Street will make of the response from Brussels isn’t certain, but it can be presumed they’ll try and ramp up the rhetoric.

”Brexit really is very simple in the end,” our Brexit specialist reassures, “hard right revolutionary forces want to create a massive disaster as an excuse to return the country to feudalism economically and socially. Hard left forces want the hard right to do this thinking if the hard right breaks the eggs then the hard left will make the omelette. Both are idiots.”

The UK, if we want other people to take us seriously and talk to us, we best save the parody for entertainment and criticism of government, and not the actual method of government.

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