10 Downing Street PANIC at 11 over fears stockpile of LIES will be exhausted before Brexit

THE LIES HAD IT! THE LIES HAD IT! : 10 Downing Street is said to be in a chaotic and disordered state today after it emerged that the new, white, tightly woven, cotton sofa delivered to the PM’s apartment is not stain proof.

“It’s not only that,” a Downing Street insider told LCD Views, “there’s PANIC too that the stockpile of governmental lies will be exhausted before Brexit!”

How the Johnson administration would manage without recourse to lying through their teeth isn’t clear and a clear reason to be alarmed.

“Unelected puppet master for life, Cummings, has his teams working 24/7 to produce new falsehoods to baffle the public and Brussels,” the insider revealed,

“but currently they’re just managing re-hashes of the crap May dished out. It’s not looking good. Although Labour’s refusal to consider a GNU is giving them some succour they may pull through and get No Deal Brexit delivered at Halloween. But the sands shift so fast, we can’t rely on MPs not doing their jobs forever. We need dissembling at 11 to disassemble the modern state for the profit of right wing moneymen. Not panic at 11!”

Who can keep their heads while all about them are losing their minds will be a deciding factor in the coming weeks. You could even say pivotal to the future of the country.

“We need to dial down the anxiety,” the insider added, “not just in Downing Street but across the country. The lemmings won’t jump off the cliff if just one of them breaks into a panic and turns away.”

Hold your nerve Global Britons! Billions have been bet on you holding your nerve and leaping on the 31st October 2019 with just the smallest, well calculated, data mined push.

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