Remainers expecting to take the credit if Brexit goes really well

Dire warnings about Brexit have been plentiful recently. Both remainers and experts are agreed – Brexit is a crock of shit. Remainers expect to be blamed for it. But what if Brexit goes really well? That will be our fault too, remainers say.

Spokes-webmaster for the ‘Remain Is Best, Honest!’ group on Facepalm is Suki Tupp. She has seen the remain community blamed for everything from wet weather to England not winning the World Cup last time out.

“I’m sick of being the scapegoat for everybody and everything,” wrote Tupp on a recent group post. “Everything is our fault, apparently, so it’s about time we took credit for some of the good stuff too.”

Like the summer weather. “The hottest day on record is down to us remainers,” she continued. “Since all the heatstroke-related incidents are our fault somehow!”

Ditto the torrential rainstorms. “That dam that was close to breaking, that was blamed on us,” she wrote. “So let’s take credit for the successful remedial action, and in the wider scheme of things, England’s green and pleasant land! So far removed from the scorched-earth leavers.”

Then Brexit of course. “Naturally, a group of concerned citizens in cyberspace, as far removed from the corridors of power as Boris Johnson’s humility, has no influence upon government policy,” she states. “We think it’s undeliverable; therefore they say this is due to our lack of belief. But what if Brexit is a resounding success after all?”

Tupp left a dramatic pause in her post at this point, then resumed getting to the point very slowly indeed.

“What if we were all wrong? What if Brexit is all that was promised, and more?” she asks rhetorically. “Will it still be our fault?”

A question to which nobody had an adequate reply. Loyal remainers didn’t want to admit to being wrong, ever. Leavers on the page hated the suggestion that their victory was to someone else’s credit.

We won, you lost, but in fact we all won, and the losers take the spoils. Suck it up.

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