BRING OUT YOUR DEAD, FOR BREXIT : Great news for patriots who want to dismantle modern life as we know it today with the latest poll from hard right, tax haven serving, US neocon enabling, shitrag propaganda outfit, The Daily Telegraph.
“So many British people want Brexit they’re prepared for millions and millions more of them than actually exist to die to achieve it,” Telegraph poll expert, Mr Soulle Sold, told their sister publication, LCD Views (one of us was adopted from an adoption service for little baby Satans made in Hell, and we know who).
The poll result will be a boost for the beleaguered administration of Boris “shagger” Johnson, struggling daily to get enough people to buy their lies in the hope of making a killing.
“Efforts are underway now to capture some squirrels from the North American wild reservoir of the famous disease, yersini pestis, and bottle up a sample and then get it to the lab and modify it into a form readily contagious to humans.”
In expectation of the mass plague event the Gove-rnment is reportedly spending £5bn pounds on wheelbarrows and carts big enough to carry your average village’s fresh dead to pits.
“It’s not just cattle, sheep and random alpacas that will be on the burning countryside pyres to make a success of No Deal Brexit when winter harries Mighty Britannia in late 2019,” Mr Soulle Sold commented, “but readily infected, hard working British men, women and children.”
But critics have been quick to point out that polling firm ConRes, contracted to conduct the poll, maybe guilty of asking leading questions designed to achieve the result.
“The question in the poll was, ‘Would you support everyone’s best friend Boris ending parliamentary democracy in the United Kingdom in order to achieve No Deal Brexit, if it got you in the pants of someone you’ve ached privately to shag like forever, and instantly made you a multiple millionaire by magic?’, which is not misleading and very straightforward, in my estimation,” Mr Sold shrugged.
To make transmission of the Black Death more effective patriots are asked to stand especially close to anyone who looks peekish in coming weeks and to bathe in their bodily fluids as they explode out of the traditional, British pustules in their armpits.
“Oh, and their groins.”
Yes, and their haemorrhaging groins.
Brexit, let’s make a success of it, no matter what the cost. Tax dodgers are depending on it.