Angela Merkel refuses Boris Johnson’s request for asylum saying he’s already in one

BLIGHTED BLIGHTY : German Chancellor Angela Merkel is believed to have refused British-American-Turkish prime minister Boris Johnson’s request for political asylum.

“It’s a pointless request,” an aide to the long serving, democratically elected (numerous times), European statesperson said, “just like everything Mr Johnson demands. He knows it. It won’t stop him asking if course. We just shake our heads in wonder. We’re waiting for common sense to return to the UK’s politics. Just like most people there I guess.”

The reason for refusing the request does appears to have been multi-layered too.

“He’s made his bed, he has to now lie in it,” the aide added, “also we don’t need the contagion of his politics in our country. We are really very impatient for an end to freedom of movement from the UK, so their so called leaders can’t just pop over to the continent and drive us crazy asking for things we’ve already refused for three years.”

It’s not certain if saying no will work though.

“We expect he’ll just keep asking in a louder voice. Enquiring over our command of the English language will happen too. It’s pretty obvious from what Brexiters say, and what their tabloids print that they bizarrely think we can’t.”

The most serious reason for saying no seems to be just objective reality. Something the British government and its elected representatives don’t seem to deal in, or with, anymore.

“She told him,” the aide finished, “he has no need to come here and ask for asylum when he’s already taken over and running one at home.”

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