FAKING AND BAKING FOR BREXIT : Downing Street has responded today to popular demand from a hungry people and released the official Brexit cake recipe.
“We are all about pleasing the people,” a privately contracted, propaganda specialist working at Downing Street said, “we couldn’t ignore thousands of people discussing what sort of cake is Brexit and not release the actual, official recipe for the nation’s bakers. Let the people eat it!”
The recipe is guaranteed to produce a cake that looks suspiciously like a millionaire’s shortbread, but tastes like a load of balls.
“That’s because by this time next year, thanks to Brexit, we’ll all be millionaires,” the unofficial Downing Street official declared, “especially if you’re already a millionaire at this time this year. Where do you keep your wealth? Offshore! But anyway, back to the people’s cake.”
The appearance of a millionaire shortbread really is no mistake. Brexit is a millionaire’s speciality. Be that hard right or far left Brexit specialists, there millionaires all who have convinced people they’re the people’s champions. So why not listen to them and bake?
“There’s a bit of a giveaway in the old shortbread too. Bread being nostalgic slang for money. Shorting the pound being how to make bread. How tasty is Brexit? How tasty will be Brexit cake?
“Of course, not everyone who bakes the cake will get to eat it,” the official shrugged, “because in order to make a success of Brexit we will have to make sure hardworking British men and women are short of bread. But it’ll be worth it. Worth it for someone. Guess who?”
Bollocks to Brexit? Yes indeed. After all, it’s the only ingredient needed alongside nuts of course. Grab yours and get faking, we mean, baking!