REGIME CHANGE IS GOING OKAY : 10 Downing Street has announced that a familiar face will return to the UK’s television screens soon after Comical Ali agreed to work for Boris Johnson.
“This is a prize catch,” a Downing Street source told LCD Views, “Sean Spicer was initially approached, but he’s busy with existing television commitments.”
It’s thought Comical Ali was also initially averse to involving himself with another cast iron, guaranteed disaster in the making, but the promise of a peerage swayed him.
“He just has to reassure everyone daily that No Deal Brexit will be okay. That it’s all going to plan. That the people support their unelected leader. After October 31st he can kick back in the Lords and do as he likes.”
Of course his first duty will be to explain that asking the Queen to suspend parliament just after MPs have returned from summer recess is perfectly normal.
“This is just the normal functioning of an autocracy with a veneer of democracy slapped on the face of it,” the spokesman said, “although Comical Ali will explain it more amusingly.”
The fact that viewers will be able to watch their institutions of state being torn down behind Comical Ali as he speaks isn’t expected to cause any raised eyebrows.
“Boris Johnson is uniting the country in a way Theresa May could only dream of,” the Downing Street spokesman added, “and each and every day now Comical Ali will be there to tell you it’s all okay.”
But what if he burns out with the workload? He’s not a young man anymore?
“Trump has offered to send over that Huckabee-Sanders woman. And if she won’t do he’ll take over the role personally and talk to the British people directly via Twitter, on Johnson’s behalf.”
Believe in Britain, even if in your imagination it doesn’t work this way.