ABSOLUTE BOLLOCRACY : The aspiring (to) autocracy of Boris Johnson, and chums, have laid down the gauntlet today to MPs by declaring that all laws dating back to 1689 will be repealed.
“That includes the Bill of Rights in 1689 which established the supremacy of parliament over the monarchy,” Doom Cumon, spokesman for 10 Downing Street advised LCD Views, “and the best thing about it is, as we’re taking back control over the chamber of elected representatives, we’re just doing it. But they’ll hear about it when James Cleverly is told to tweet.”
The payoff for MPs will of course be an extended summer recess.
“Like, forever, on full pay with pensions.”
That will certainly get the support of many, not that it matters of course.
“To make the repeal of all laws back to 1689 even more special, we will be doing it live, broadcast on Facepamphlet, with some of our extra special MPs, like DExEU minister, Scan Barcode, repealing laws on camera.”
It’s felt the Lords too will be in on the act.
“Once the Act of Parliament in 1911, which abolished the ability of the House of Lords to veto legislation, is repealed, then the Lords can believe they’re back in control. This is why we’ll stuff it with kippers to ensure they don’t try and control anything. And the Queen will fast regain many powers, which she will be happy to gift to 10 Downing Street, lest we call her a traitor too.”
This is of course all good news for the sovereignty of parliament, and all Britons will be forced by Boris Johnson’s first royal decree to proclaim their support loudly at street parties, with bunting.
“It will mean certain changes to how society functions,” Doom Cumon added, “doffing of caps is back. Rule of thumb? Back. End of universal suffrage. Abolition of all workers rights and a return to full employment for children.”
It’s certain this government, if left to do as it pleases, will make the UK the greatest place to live on earth, for feudal minded, tax hating tyrants. Believe in Britain!
As for those who say that choosing which votes to respect is entirely how a democracy progresses, well, wait for the social media campaign calling you a traitor. In Brexit Britain there’s only one place that’s sovereign, and it’s not parliament.