‘Bohemian Pratsody’ – Tory Brexit supergroup to record Brexit anthem

STADIUM FILLERS : Great news to overshadow fainting police recruits behind the prime minister with the announcement of the rapid recording of a Brexit anthem.

“It’s going to be a smash hit,” a Downing Street ‘source’ told LCD Views, “that’s because the prime minister’s brain, Dominic Cumberbung, thought of it. And he’s a genius.”

The song, provisionally named ‘Bohemian Pratsody’, will he forcibly downloaded onto all digital devices in the United Kingston.

“This is so nobody misses out,” the source advised, “and so we can claim how much of an overwhelming smash it is, everyone has it, and use that as a justification for replacing insulin with puppies in the event of a No Deal Brexit.”

But not everyone is thrilled with the idea. Not Michael Gove, who hasn’t been asked to do anything but fetch the drugs needed to get the chosen few recording high enough to make a good fist of it.

“That’s not going to be a problem,” the source added, “we’re going to get Michael Gove to record the b-side. It’s called ‘Everyone will have the food they need’. This will endure as you start beating each other to pulp post Brexit, you’ll know you’re doing things exactly as planned.”

‘Bohemian Pratsody’ is due for release imminently and everyone is certain to unite behind it and give it a push. Off the nearest cliff, preferably.

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