Theresa May’s honour list SHOCK as Larry the Cat turns down knighthood

NO HONOUR LOST : Larry the Cat has dealt a severe blow to the otherwise august reputation of former Prime Minister Theresa May.

The reason appears to be his disdain at inclusion on the so called honours list submitted by the prime minister, theoretically to award people for public service, but seen by many as being purely self-serving cronyism.

“Have you seen who else was on the list?” an aide working at the 10 Downing Street Mouser Department said, “Geoffrey Boycott. Nick Timothy. And others. Do you really think any self-respecting people manager like Larry wants to be tainted by association?”

Quite why Ms May choose to include the tireless feline isn’t clear, although many suspect it’s just a blatant play to appear human.

“Larry isn’t going to lower himself into a scheme to retrospectively make that individual appear cute and cuddly, which is frankly impossible.”

But what gong was Larry down to receive?

“Does it matter? He’s a cat. He couldn’t care too hoots what a former bipedal servant thinks. Save it.”

You know what they say, dogs have masters and cats have staff. And this master is completely disinterested in the desperate machinations of a former employee.

“She would have been better off knighting her pot plant. At least it was prepared to listen to her rant and rave about citizens of nowhere.”

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