Boris Johnson expected to deny ever proroguing parliament

ASAP : 10 Downing Street, that hothouse of strategic geniuses, is expected to respond to the Scottish High Courts ruling that Boris and Jacob bullshitted the actual Queen into proroguing Parliament with a steamy bloom of denial.

“What me, worry?” Mr Johnson is reported to be planning to tell a packed House of Commons, “I never prorogued Parliament. I deny it. It was Jacob’s idea anyway. Did I go and see Her Majesty and ask for it?”

The line of defence, based on having plausible deniability, is presumed to come from Dominic ‘Short’ Cummings. A man chosen by Boris Johnson to do the hard work of thinking for him, so Boris can carry on being Boris. And we have to pause and wonder, how well is that working out for them?

But should the House of Commons, and indeed the Queen, not buy the denial, Boris has another trick up his sleeve.

“He’s going to go into hiding,” a Downing Street source rumoured, “just until it all blows over. Like he did in the Tory leadership campaign. Boris knows what a thwarted woman is like. He should, he’s thwarted a fair few. Hide is the best policy. Wait until they calm down before going back over with ruffled hair, a grin and some half remembered classical quote. He’ll be all right. You wait and see.”

To many sober spectators this latest plot twist in the Boris show is no surprise. Brexit was always going to embroil the Queen in its never ending farce.

How the Queen will react isn’t yet clear, except perhaps for some wistful feeling of wanting some of the more brute powers of her distant ancestors faced with high profile idiots.

At least Boris Johnson’s media backers have somewhere to turn, a safe harbour in the latest storm, they can just print a big smiling Boris re-opening parliament, once he bends to the avalanche of political will, and caption it,

“Bouncing Baby Boris Bounces Back, Recalls MPs saying. Get back to work! You Berks!” As if not being at work had nothing at all to do with Boris. Who was after all, just being Boris.

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