The government doesn’t choose which votes to observe, says government ignoring parliamentary vote

The government is refusing to publish internal No 10 communications, even though parliament voted for it. This is a government which, according to its wisest advisors, does not choose which votes to respect.

“Votes we don’t like don’t count,” explained the government’s cleverest member, James ‘Notso’ Cleverly. “Also, votes by ignorant members of the public are far more important than votes by knowledgeable and frankly annoying members of parliament.”

The brainee member for Braintree believes he is responsible for saying ‘governments don’t choose which votes to respect’. That thought was presumably planted there by Dominic ‘Short’ Cummings, the true source of the quote. The mind games he plays with the Brain of Braintree are just the warm-up to the main act on the bill, Michael Gove.

“We were given a clear instruction by a tiny majority in a rigged referendum,” dribbled Gove. “This means we won, you lost, get over it, suck it up like my drool, and also that anti-Brexit votes and opinions simply don’t count any more. The government is quite within its rights to override parliamentary sovereignty. It’s what we voted for!”

Thank you for clearing that up for us, Michael.

To be fair, the Yellowhammer document has been released, although one section has been blacked out.

“Nobody wants to frighten the plebs at this stage,” wibbled Gove. “That would destroy our position. Can you imagine, telling the great unwashed the truth about Brexit? We can’t be honest with the public in case they finally realise that we have fucked up their lives and their country on purpose.”

The whole system of government is overdue for reform, with an independent watchdog to scrutinise the work of MPs. You could almost hear the sweat breaking out on Cummings’ oversized forehead at the very suggestion, as he sent out another puppet to deny it.

“Westminster is self-regulating!” panted the puppet desperately, vein pulsing in his temple. “Parliament answers to the government, which answers to the PM, who answers to Mr Cummings, who answers to nobody. It’s fine as it is!”

Can’t see a problem there.

Dominic Cummings, the man who put the ‘dick’ into ‘dictator’.

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