YOUR TURN TRICK OR TREAT : Michael Gove is said to have his loved ones worried today after he made a claim so tumescent with expectation the nation almost orgasmed.
“It’s not like tricky Mickey to get people’s hopes up so hard,” our embedded Tory party wart reports, “saying that if Brexit isn’t delivered by Halloween than the Tory Party is GOING TO FINISH ITSELF OFF? I mean, I almost lost it right there, and I’m trying to hold fast. Tantric Brexit is where I get my kicks!”
The claim, being spread more virulently than a socially transmitted disease across social media platforms, raises the concern that Mr Gove no longer has his finger on the pulse. This isn’t a threat Gove. It’s a promise of a sweet relief.
“He’s probably getting a lot of phone calls from heavy breathers,” our wart guesses, “Give it to me. Give it to me baby. Give me the great end of society. Don’t you want it? Yeah? Don’t you want Sterling worth less than USD so the NHS is almost free?”
How the assertion spaffed out so freely by Mickey will play out is clear. And not many things he’s involved with are.
“Mass mental orgasm,” our wart grows, “even amongst a lot of Tories who just feel dirty now and want it to end so they can shower. And the rest of the country? Ten years of being run down and maligned and abused and smeared with neocon scat in the basement of Gove’s mental dungeon? Well, have you seen the footage of coral reefs all letting loose in one moment? Yeah, that’s the UK if No Brexit by Halloween means no more Tory Party. Whoosh! Steam train in the tunnel. Rocket ship blasting off! Elephant trumpeting in the jungle!”
You’ve given us so much false hope Mr Gove. But if you’re right on this and when No Brexit happens on October 31st the Conservative Party implodes? Then you’ve finally given everyone some hope. Which is a first.