Thomas Cook would have kept flying if directors had “believed harder in flying” – government

CLEARED FOR LANDING : THE GOVERNMENT is on both front left feet today over the collapse of the UK’s oldest travel business, issuing boarding passes to moral deniability, to make sure the collapse of Thomas Cook is nothing to do with Boris “f*ck business” Johnson.

“It’s all to do with moral hazard,” a Downing Street spokeschurn said, “it wasn’t a moral hazard to bail out the banking sector after years of financial crimes almost destroyed it, it would be a moral hazard to bail out a travel firm after the devaluation of Sterling crashed it into the ground. Even though in a curious chain of events the collapsing currency is a result of the political project that leveraged the taxpayer rage of the banking bail out.”

It’s certainly not a moral hazard to have politicians responsible for currency fluctuations, and thus asset devaluation, bankrolled by currency speculators and disaster capitalists. No. Noooo. No.

“It’s also not a moral hazard to move your current mistress into Downing Street after leaving your wife while she was undergoing cancer treatment,” the spokesilly added, “it is also not a moral hazard to spaff countless billions up the wall of Brexit, but nothing to ensure 22,000 people keep a job.”

Boy, it’s good that Boris said it would be a moral hazard to bail out Thomas Cook. It gives us a focus.

“But the real reason that Thomas Cook failed is because its directors didn’t believe hard enough. If they’d just believed really hard in powered flight than the planes would still be in the air and not, as they are, grounded.”

Global Britain, navigating its way through the 21st century, with a moral hazard at the helm. Let’s make a success of it.

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