BULLSEYE : FURORE TODAY after the Exchequer revealed the winning entry in the design competition to come up with a new £50 note.
“Crowds are massing outside the royal mint to demand a re-design after Chancellor Bridgen did the big reveal of the new fifty pound note,” our Minted reporter says, “the outrage seems largely to focus on the fact the Queen is missing from the design. And Her Royal Highness is always on proper British notes.”
But spokesperson for the Treasury, Ms Dorries, said there was no choice but to exclude Queen Elizabeth after Fuhrer Johnson traded away British sovereignty to President For Life Donald Trump in order to convince him to purchase the NHS as a job lot, rather than piecemeal.
Other observers are more sanguine, stating mirroring the Euro design for a twenty is just acknowledging post Brexit realities. And is actually a little generous to the pound, given current exchange rates.
“It’ll save time once we complete the process of rejoining the continental wide European Union so our kids stop looking at us like we’re complete bellends for trading away a mass of rights, opportunities and liberties just so travel insurance firms could profit from the loss of the EHIC.”
The Treasury was also claiming that the new bullseye will save the country millions as the currency currently used in the English blackmarket in bread and cereals is already Euro notes. With the exception of the roubles used in the region of OffenFuhrer Rees-mogg’s estate.
President Nicolas Sturgeon of the Independent Republic of Scotland, and the Welsh Chancellor David Thomas also welcomed the design, as it brings England into line with the look of the currency they’ve been using since gaining independence in 2022 during the English county wars.