“Just how appalling do I have to be to get a GE?” – Johnson challenges MPs after latest defeat

EVERYBODY NEEDS BORIS TO LOSE A MOTION EVERY DAY : Boris Johnson, apparently prime minister (not that he does any prime ministering) has challenged MPs tonight after his latest Classic Dom.

Responding to the loss in the House of Commons over the programme motion, Mr Johnson swore he was going to smash up the House of Commons toilets using just the power of his unadulterated mendacity. And see how you all like that.

He added also,

“I’m going to get an original copy of the Magna Carta and burn it in this chamber. Then I’m going to use the ashes for toilet paper. You just see if I don’t. Give me a GE!”

He then lay on the floor in front of Speaker Bercow’s chair and proceeded to wail for a full fifteen minutes.

But although the threat was clearly designed to trigger a VONC and a GE, about the only thing it’s clear Johnson wants, the threat to the Magna Carta was described as,

“Minimal,” an archivist specialising in ancient texts, British Library, told LCD Views, “Boris Johnson says a lot of things, but you’ll notice he doesn’t follow through on much. You may counter and say he got the EU to renegotiate the WA, but they only did that so they could get Johnson to insert killer gags like customs declarations within the actual UK. So um, it’s not clear what he achieved?”

And Parliament granting Johnson a GE is still uncertain. It’s not like Labour is in any rush for one, given the long game played over Brexit is merely serving as a recruiting sergeant for the Greens and Libdems. Also, for the moment, old marrow handler Corbyn gets to look good contrasted against Johnson.

The country waits now to see what other wheeze Johnson, Cummings, Rees-smug and pals will pull in the hope of bullying Parliament into doing what they want.

“Bit bloody uncertain why they’re bothering,” the archivist added, “as they don’t have any actual detailed plans. The WAB going into limbo tonight is a perfect alignment with the government and the country under this government.”

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