Halloween Brexit extension: EU ready to play trick or treat

Halloween. It’s that time of year when supposedly responsible people dress up to extract goodies from the neighbours. But the UK doesn’t know if it’s getting a trick or a treat. Neither is it sure which is which.

The neighbours are ready for the impish Brits. But will they be donating a nice long extension, or not?

“It’s the long game,” remarked independent observer Hal O’Ween. “The EU has had enough of the British indecision and dithering. It has decided to let them sweat it out, and give them a taste of their own medicine.”

But will they stick or twist? Is the EU going to grant the UK the torture of deferring this Brexit crisis of its own creation again?

“Nobody knows,” opined O’Ween. “European patience is running out. One day they will have had enough, and simply tell the UK to get stuffed. Is that time now? And would this be a trick or a treat? This is the real meaning of Take Back Control.”

Deferral would mean another turn on the Brexit Cycle. This phenomenon passes through a number of distinct phases: Euphoria, Optimism, Consensus, Rejection, Righteous Anger and Supplication, before returning to Euphoria. The Brexit Cycle involves, according to who you ask, either moving in ever decreasing circles, or disappearing up your own backside.

There is an alternative. There is always a choice to be made. The remaining option is to stop Brexit completely, since it vanishes on contact with reality. Revocation: the truth that dare not speak its name.

Unfortunately, revocation has become a dirty word, like socialism, agreement and Jennifer Arcuri.

“So quite possibly, it’s a trick, not a treat, whichever way you slice it,” concluded O’Ween. “But a trick of our own devising. Typical of the looking-glass world of Brexit. And the UK is still refusing to acknowledge that the treat is a treat at all.”

So let’s all dress up as zombies, while the real Westminster zombies prepare to roam the country, consuming the remaining brains.

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