If there’s one thing that has become abundantly clear since Boris Johnson took over as unelected prime minister of this country, it’s that he doesn’t like not getting his own way.
Already he has shown he’ll go to any lengths to show his displeasure when things don’t turn out like he wants. However, now it seems that he’s even willing to throw a childish tantrum at the latest extension to the Brexit negotiating time.
He has vowed to scream and scream and scream until he’s sick. Not a pretty sight.
Professor William Brown of the Crompton Research Institute for Kidlike Extreme Yelling (or CRIKEY for short), had this to say:
“We have observed Mr Johnson during his premiership and for some years before, and we have no doubt about it, he suffers from Bott’s Syndrome.”
Well it’s common knowledge that he uses bots to artificially boost his approval ratings online, but this is apparently something else.
“No, not bots, Bott’s – named after Violet Elizabeth Bott, the first known case of the syndrome. She would always threaten to scream if she didn’t get her own way. And it wasn’t a bluff, she could, would and often did let that scream out. Even when she was just six years old, she already had the lungs for it. But even she’s got nothing on Johnson.”
Professor Brown – who was very informal and insisted I call him just William – went on to explain the syndrome has adapted itself in the modern era.
There’s already an evolved strain, called Trump syndrome, where the subject tweets and tweets and tweets until he’s thick. This version can be easier on the ears on the public, but harder on the credibility. The public read the tweets and have to factor in that the subject made a conscious decision to send them all.
In the case of Boris Johnson, it is feared that he may suffer from both forms of the illness. This is rare, and very dangerous both to the sufferer and to those around him.
There is still no known cure for this syndrome, which has been known of since 1928. Scientists are working on it round the clock, and hoping they hit on something soon before Brexit happens and the EU funding runs out.
We wish them every success.