The riots promised by angry brexiters have gone completely unreported. The biased BBC has been slammed by furious truth seekers hoping for a more balanced media.
Of course, the facts leaked out onto the interweb. Crowds of angry people, some almost fifty strong, emerged blinking from Wetherspoons and started throwing evil glances left, right and centre.
The size of the protests almost slowed down a bit of traffic. It actually caused a couple of BMW drivers to honk their horns.
Thousands of banners were imagined by the worthy warriors. A number of badly spelled placards almost got made. Yet none of this was reported by the BBC.
After all, if it barely reports upon, and belittles, an assembly of over a million peaceful protestors, why would it bother with 17.4 million angry, rioting people who were there in spirit, if not in person?
Naturally we turned to the BBC itself for comment. “It’s not really entertaining enough,” explained BBC spokesman Telly Graf-Reader. “I mean, who wants to see a report about people gathering for a social event? Nobody wants that on Halloween, they want to see pumpkins carved in the shape of Nigel Farage.”
The BBC didn’t really mention the enormous People’s Vote events either.
“To be fair, a bunch of people gathering in London causing a few road closures isn’t news,” said Graf-Reader. “Local news at best, and fifth item, just after the standing report about dog poo bins.”
What would the BBC have said if one of the protestors had thrown an egg instead of a strop?
“Depends who it hit,” replied Graf-Reader. “If they had targeted Boris, Rees-Mogg, Francois or one of the other good guys, then it would have been full scale out of control mayhem and we would have backed the government’s plans to re-employ all the police officers they got rid of under austerity.”
If it had been a Remainer?
“Obviously that would have been an attempt to express their frustration with traitors betraying democracy,” explained Graf-Reader. “And we would have sympathised with The People while getting a bit huffy about their methods.”
And if it had been Corbyn?
“Egg on his face.”
No eggs were harmed in the production of this article.