Jeremy Corbyn promises to re-nationalise the BBC

Election fever strikes again as notorious non-Tory Jeremy Corbyn prepares to wreck the economy. Again. This time he wants to re-nationalise the government’s communications arm, the BBC.

This follows the government’s disastrous decision to outsource the BBC to the Taxpayers’ Alliance. Although this places the BBC at the heart of the democratic pro-Brexit message, unfortunately 55 Tufton Street cannot produce money-spinners like David Attenborough documentaries or the weather forecast.

Predictable howls of outrage followed Corbyn’s announcement. The Mail, the Express and the Telegraph blasted the plan in gigantic letters from their news desks at TPA HQ.

BBC bosses are said to be ‘disappointed’ to have to start commuting from Tufton Street to the BBC studios again.

News has become yet another commodity to be bought and sold to the highest bidder. In this case the shadowy albeit filthy rich figures funding the whole Brexit farce.

But re-nationalisation could bring back balance, rigour and fairness. These dangerous socialist notions threaten to undermine the entire fabric of British feudalism.

Former journalist Artie Cull cast an eye over proceedings.

“It’s about time someone took back control of the media!” Cull thundered. “Once reputable and reliable outlets have allowed themselves to print gaudy propaganda and fake news without scruples or fear of comebacks!”

And the BBC has been pushed into the same trap, says Cull. “Look at the evidence!” he shouts, going purple in the face. “Anyone Brexity is given an easy ride. Michael Gove, Iain Duncan Smith, Andrew Fucking Bridgen, all of them are allowed to spout whatever gibberish they like and the BBC just laps it up. That charlatan Farage is on one show or another almost every day. Footage of Boris Johnson cocking up the wreath laying ceremony on Remembrance Day was edited out of the BBC’s highlights package, while the papers made up random outrage about Corbyn. It’s about time some balance was restored!”

In the interests of balance, we are obliged to point out that other biased broadcast media are available.

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