BRITISH TV GOLD : “We can’t let Sturgeon, Swinson, Lucas and whoever else get involved in the general election TV debate,” a Downing Street source told LCD Views today, “if they do Johnson and Corbyn are both likely to get cranky, on camera, and then less people may vote for them, and more may vote for the women. Heaven forbid.”
Whether or not this is the correct decision by the broadcaster, ITV, or by Labour and the Conservatives, is a source of heated debate, even if the courts have agreed they are not breaking broadcasting law.
“Imagine what they would have chosen as the theme tune?” the source shuddered, “probably Wuthering Heights, maybe ABBA? It doesn’t bear thinking about. Women should be seen in politics, but definitely not heard when the big moments come. Just our luck none of those other parties have a man as leader. We’d be forced to debate them. Be poor form not to. Jolly bad show.”
But what have the leaders of the Tory and Labour Parties chosen as the theme music for tonight’s televised debate?
“Rabbit by Chas and Dave,” the source smiled, “the lyrics really hit the nail on the head.”
Especially the lines…
“coz you wont stop talkin,
why dont you give it a rest?,
you got more rabbit than sainsburys,
it’s time you got it off your chest,
now you is just the kinda girl to break my heart in two,
I knew right off when I first clapped my eyes on you,
but how was I to know you’d bend my earholes too?,
with your incessant talking,
you’re becoming a pest“
“Definitely,” the source agreed, “sums it up nicely. Women with informed opinions. Makes you shudder. You’ve seen how flustered both of the men get when they’re faced with them. Could be a polling disaster. Bad enough having to listen to them rabbit on in Parliament. On the rare days these days when it’s actually sitting.”
Like most issues currently on the political landscape, it’s a divisive one. And given that Sturgeon, Swinson and even Lucas potentially hold the keys to Downing Street on December the 13th, thanks to what is likely to be a strong wave of tactical voting this GE, perhaps the men running the old duopoly of UK politics should have been forced to face them. Live. In front of a studio audience…