BROKE BACK SERFING : Downing Street has relented to pressure and belatedly published an economic assessment of the new Brexit deal struck between Boris Johnson grabbing his ankles and the EU.
The deal shows that like all Brexit’s Boris Johnson’s ‘oven ready’ Brexit will lead to a boom in the agricultural sector of a kind not seen since the Middle Ages.
“And no one will be left out,” a spokesman said on publication of the report, “not the middle aged, not the reception aged child and not the OAP who wanted a way to payback all they’ve taken from society.”
The key benefits of the deal appear to be full employment within the UK, at least until its inevitable breakdown into its constituent parts.
“There will still be full employment within England’s strong borders after the formation of the Celtic Republic of Nations sees England free to realise its potential,” the spokesman added, “not a field left without turning. And to ensure people are happy in their work, they will be assigned to newly collectivised farms under the stewardship of Tory MPs. This way both Brexit and Lexit will be fulfilled. We expect to call it Blexit.”
But not everyone is impressed.
Speaking on behalf of historical re-creationists a red faced man in a set of tights gave the general view.
“The report is succinct, I’ll give them that,” Hobin Rood commented, “being just an A4 print out of a free to use image off google showing medieval fieldworkers. But the appearance of Jacob Rees-mogg in a non-prone posture takes dramatic licence too far for our liking.”
But then there’s always critics of a great leap forward, isn’t there.
Get ready to serf and serf some more Global Britons, and we don’t mean somewhere in the Mediterranean or Adriatic, your freedom of movement in the future will be much more domestic.