Downing Street says plan to rename NHS “Trump Health” is not proof of intention to sell NHS

JUST TAKE YOUR MEDICINE : Downing Street has moved to scotch suggestions that it plans to sell the NHS to outgoing President Donald Trump, in spite of details uncovered on Reddit.

“We would never do it,” a source inside Downing Street told LCD Views, “it’s not on the table. We don’t even have a table. That’s what we’re hoping to gain with a substantial majority in the upcoming GE. But when we get the table, we certainly won’t put the NHS on it. It’s simply too big.”

But in spite of the denials the fact that the Conservatives intend to rename the National Health Service “Trump Health” have people just a little bit suspicious.

“How could anyone be suspicious of hard right Tories bankrolled by US private health businesses?” the source went on, “just because most of them have written books saying how the government should sell the NHS? Did any of them say it should be sold to Donald Trump? This is just scaremongering.”

But in spite of all the rebuttals the suspicions are mounting. Fuelled by the sight of Jacob Rees-mogg walking around Somerset hospitals affixing price tags to patients.

“Jacob is just being a good public servant and letting people know how much they’re worth. It’s very conservative. I mean considerate. Those people should be grateful. Personally I’d find him sticking a value on my gammy limb quite uplifting.”

And there maybe something to the push back from the dirty canal currently installed in Downing Street. For a start there’s no guarantee that Donald Trump will still be President by the time the Tories do complete the sale of the NHS. By then it maybe someone else.

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