YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A GENIUS TO STAY HERE : Brexit Britain will be certain of strong and stable governance from a consistently dim and consistent executive if Boris Johnson wins a majority at the National IQ test on December 12th.
Go Home Secretary Priti Patel announced sweeping changes to be brought into the immigration and border control systems should the party of sociopaths prevail.
“I will enjoy myself immensely,” Ms Patel told a hall packed with half baked scones and Conservative brand crackers, which all contain nuts, “just imagining a country which I rule where every home is fitted with a state of the art security and surveillance system is keeping me awake at night. Let’s just say house prices won’t be a problem for graduates anymore.”
Under the proposed changes each dwelling will be kept locked when the occupants aren’t at field work on a Tory MP estate. A control centre at the Home Office will monitor Britons and allow them out to work and see them safely back indoors and under lock and key.
“But what’s more, working in conjunction with our partners in US private health, Little Matt Hancock will send your genome across the pond for analysis. Anyone failing a perfectly designed points based system of genetic profiling will be expelled from the UK. Not everyone can enjoy the benefits of Brexit Britain.”
Not everyone will want to.
“And there’s more. To ensure everyone is happy with the wholesale destruction of their rights and civil liberties, Brexit Britain will start by clearing house with a national IQ test.”
The test is aimed to determine anyone with an IQ greater than Boris Johnson. These people will be deported to the EU27 to make a new life unassisted by the UK Gov.
“Clearly the entire serving cabinet will pass the test. So too anyone standing to be a Tory MP. No one smarter than Boris would be seen dead with us these days. A new world beckons Britons, but only if you’re dumb enough to allow it.”
IQ over and you’re out!