NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM : AS THE ATOMIC FALLOUT of last Thursday’s general election settles in a thick blanket across the country there’s welcome news from the official opposition party.
“Labour are having a leadership election,” a source inside the party told LCD Views, “we’re really excited. We’ve been without a leader for almost five years. And given that Boris Johnson now has an eighty seat majority in the HoC, and is certain to start tearing at all the checks and balances, safety nets and ladders, we better get a wriggle on.”
But while many greet the news with approval, and no small measure of excitement, some are worried that the party may intentionally choose someone no one will like, outside of the party. Because what the voters think doesn’t really matter. It’s about purity of essence, Mandrake. It’s about winning the argument, in your own mind at least.
We here at blowhard dad central have a handy (initial) guide for how to get it right.
- Elect someone who will oppose a ruinous, hard right, disaster capitalist project, the mandate for which was won with the involvement of electoral crime in an advisory poll wedded to gallons of snake oil, and not someone who will think, fantastic, maybe if we’re cunning enough we can turn it into Lexit!
You may not have had to worry about losing your leave voters so much if you hadn’t spent over three years validating the project.
Next time, choose someone, who seeing a whole array of weapons being handed to them by the government, will decide to use them.
Years of fence sitting, so as to appeal to a split electorate, but while also morally validating your opponent’s project by pretending you can turn it into something magic, guess what, that’s not leadership. Voters look for leadership. Pick a side and fight it. Or your voters may go to the other side.
The constructive ambiguity also allows a vindictive media to paint you how they want people to see you. You’ve intentionally made a void and expected your enemies not to fill it? - Elect someone unlikely to say comrade, ever. You want to win back your disaffected working class, patriotic swing voters. If there is ever another general election.
- Don’t pick someone who seems happy, or oblivious, to his/her activists telling any supporters raising concerns to f off and vote for the other side. They may just get fed up enough to do it.
- If you’re going to endlessly list the long list of obstacles and biases working against you, maybe look to build friendships with other parties and make common cause against your common foe?
The enemy of my enemy and all that…if other parties are offering you an electoral alliance for a one off event, like a general election, swallow your pride and do it.
5. Choose someone who actually wants to be prime minister.
Good luck. Your country needs it.