US Congress to limit Trump’s bombing powers to targeting places whose names he can spell

SHORT LIST OF HARD TARGETS JUST GOT SHORTER : THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS is to take a determined step this week to prevent another mad conflagration beginning in the Middle East.

The move is in reaction to the threats by tantrum thrower in chief, Donald ‘dummy’ Trump, to blow up the cultural heritage of EyeRan, I Run, Eran? Or however the hell you spell it.

The motivation for the belligerence is obvious. He’s on trial in the Senate.

“It’s funny when you think about it,” a White House insider told LCD Views, “just a couple of years ago a murderous religious sect, IS, was tearing about the Middle East blowing up precious, irreplaceable archaeology and we were all justifiably horrified. And now today? The actual President of the United States is threatening to do the same over Twitter! And there’s no question of removing him from his post over it? Mad times. Just batshit. I guess this is what you get when you elect a man to the highest office who’s on tape boasting about sexual assault. Well done America. Really setting the standard.”

How the Senate will move to protect the world’s cultural heritage is obvious.

“They’re aiming to pass a new law limiting the powers of the Commander in Chief to start wars, or even just attack places. Simple when you think about it. Give Donnie Drumpf a test so hard he can’t pass it.”

And what form will the test take?

“Oh, they’re going to make it illegal for Trump to order an attack on anywhere he can’t spell. This will limit his range of targets to buildings with the name ‘Trump’ on them. But they won’t be on the list either, because no one anywhere is mad enough to consider them cultural heritage.”

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