Government replaces Erasmus scheme with a year chimney sweeping on Jacob Rees-mogg’s estate

WHAT’S LATIN FOR PRAT : THE GOVERNMENT has been successful in its attempt to block British youth from participation in the EU wide Erasmus scheme.

“After Brexit British youth will have more important things to do than lessen feelings of antipathy towards the continent by actually going there,” a spokesmen for 10 Downing Street told LCD Views, “it’s not enough to have an endless focus on historical conflicts with the continent in our school curriculums, we’ve got to ensure no one grows up actually meeting someone not raised on meat and two veg.”

The desire to isolate British youngsters and make them proper potatriots will also include rebranding of some recklessly named goods.

“Brussel sprouts? British sprouts thank you very much. You hardly need to be reminding the chimney sweeps and match makers of tomorrow that there’s apparently food in other countries at Christmas. And French fries? Let’s have some Sovereignty chips thank you very much.”

As to what will replace the Erasmus scheme? They have an easy answer to that.

“There’s plenty of positive learning experiences available right at home for any youngsters dumb enough to not have parents rich enough to compensate for the sudden limiting of their horizons,” the source grinned.

“The youngsters of today and tomorrow need look no further than the chimneys of Jacob Rees-mogg’s estate,” the source added, “and those fruit trees aren’t going to pick themselves anymore. Staying home and working to make a success of Britain, post Brexit, also solves the ticklish problem of young people coming home with bloody foreigners as spouses.”

That’ll solve the issue of having to treat people from other places like human beings too. Brexit, it’s a vision and they’re realising it. Taking away rights while everyone looks at the Royal Family.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *