JOHNSON GOVERNMENT makes the day it REJECTED reuniting CHILD refugees with their families a bank holiday!

WHO HOSTED THE OLYMPICS IN 2012 SURELY IT WASN’T THIS PLACE : THE 8TH JANUARY is a proud day in our country’s story and you should now mark it in your diaries, year in and year out.

“It’s a proud day for liberal, tolerant, outward looking Global Britain,” Mr Kipper Kippering, MP for Kippers, junior minister in the new Department for the Kipperfication of [Little] Britain told LCD Views. And wasn’t he just red of face and beaming.

“The 8th of the 1st is the day your People’s Government said NO! to child refugees!”

Isn’t he proud of himself. And everyone who voted for this government should be proud too. You’ve set your staff on the slender bridge of safety for lost children and said ‘No refugee children shall pass!’

A bold move for a country so fixated on arms sales.

“It’s shuts the bleeding heart, liberal snowflakes right up too,” Mr Kippering went on, “those folks who said Boris would change once he’s in office? Pah! He’ll change alright. Total power will make him able to separate families of all kinds without a backward glance. He’ll change? For the better? Mwahaha. I’m crying.”

But as much as some may criticise the move and suggest even that it adds wait to the argument that Brexit is an inherently racist project, Mr Kippering has a ready retort.

“Have we caged them? NO. We’re not letting them set foot here to begin with. I guess we best check none of them are white? They’re aren’t any white refugee children are there? Oh no, wait, that doesn’t matter, given we’re setting in store making thousands and thousands of EU27 families illegal. Whack ho! Global Britain! Here we go!”

Get out the RED WHITE AND BLUE bunting Britons. You’ve changed the humanitarian standards you’re governed by and there’s still a long way to go.

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