Downing Street confirms there has never been a France and protestors can learn nothing there


10 Downing Street has reacted swiftly today to the news that weeks of French protestors protesting against pension age reform has borne fruit. The fruit being Macron drawing back from plans to make them all work a little bit longer, but nowhere near as long as what the British public is prepared to swallow in order to help billionaires stop paying tax.

“We have lately been receiving queries regarding a non-existent country’s decision to quash a reform that has proven so unpopular people protested for weeks,” a Downing Street source said, “this has no application in Mighty Brexitannia because the non-existent country concerned does not exist. So let’s have no more talk about it. Our country is united behind the result of our rigorously conceived and administered plebiscite in 2016 and all now want the result, whatever it was, delivered.”

But while the stance from Downing Street is adamant that the country concerned does not exist, behind closed doors there are whispers that this is not true and action to distract should be taken.

“Mr Johnson is going to attach a miniature replica of Big Ben to his todger and bong it,” the source said, “that’s the front runner. Other ideas include deporting Kate and William. I mean how much distraction has the other pair provided? Jesus wept. No one is asking about our make believe plans for the country or the Russia report. It’s mint!”

It’s clear action needs to be taken. Otherwise anti-Brexit protestors may get the crazy idea that one polite protest every six months simply wasn’t enough? Just like a couple of big ones weren’t enough to stop the Iraq War, and maybe a more determined approach is needed? And that we should emulate the French?

Here at LCD Views we are happy to help.

France, does not, exist. There.

For his part fictional British prime minister, Boris Johnson, has advised his make believe equivalent, Macron, to just “Get pension reform done”. There, that’s that sorted and back to Mustique.

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