SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO COMPLEX PROBLEMS : World famous climate scientist, presidential hobbyist and aspiring golfer, Donald Trump, has stunned Davos.
“Everyone already knows Mr Trump has a mind like a taser, not that you’d know from how he carries himself, just from the unexpectedly shocking things he says,” our Davos insider comments, “he’s not one to blow his own trumpet. Although I think he could if he took up yoga. He’s such a natural athlete.”
But Mr Trump’s athleticism is not what’s causing the stir.
“It’s climate change,” our Davos correspondent goes on, “he’s hit on a simple solution that will solve it. This has been appreciated by the other world leaders, megalomaniacs and billionaires who were too busty scratching their heads over what happened to the Paris Accord to do it.”
And the solution itself is not a new one, for humans faced with certain threat. But it has taken a genius to apply it to climate.
“At first Mr Trump thought about threatening Climate Change with nuclear war over Twitter. He discarded that as too explosive. Then he thought about doing a deal with it to get it to change back. But while combing his crazed hair with his tiny hands he remembered climate change caused that. So he didn’t want to be in the same room as it. It was then he had the lightbulb moment.”
What is it?
“It’s a fairly standard way of lighting interiors since the late 19th century. I would have thought you’d have heard of it.”
No. Not light bulbs. Trump’s solution to climate change?
“Oh, he’s going to build a wall to stop it and get Greta Thunberg to pay for it.”