Johnson answering what shampoo he uses expected to be high point of media scrutiny of Johnson in 2020

HOME AND HOSED : Global Britons are once again celebrating today by displaying to the world how a modern representative democracy goes about its business.

The latest total win occurred late yesterday afternoon when Prime Minister for life, Boris ‘how many kids and what does that say about a person’ Johnson, set himself up for a tough grilling from carefully selected members of the public asking deep and searching questions via social media.

A far better use of his time then attending select committees in parliament.

Mercifully no earnest, but misguided patriot bothered with such trivial matters like, where is the Intelligence Report into Russian Interference in UK democracy? What’s happening with the Acuri investigations? Why do you have a policy platform and just ‘f*ck business’, and what does such a careless attitude to other people’s lives and livelihoods say about you?

Even, does being born with a silver spoon in your mouth make it easier to destroy the hard work of others?

No. The big questions rained down like candy floss mortar fire and Mr Johnson was up to the challenge.

“I use…um..ah…what was the question again? Shampoo? Right. Yes. Baaa haaa!Like Theseus battling Medusa in a shiniest hair contest, with no mirrors, that’s right isn’t it? How long do we have left? Now, what was it? Shampoo. Yes. Of course. There will be no border in the Irish Sea. You can massage your scalp with it. That’s it. That one.”

This is all of course being broadcast around the world and helping to let everyone know just where Global Britain is positioned in the challenging landscape of the 21st Century.

“Too right too,” our political analyst chipped in, having watched the Boris show, “it’s good to set a benchmark early. I wager that Boris Johnson attempting to answer the question, what shampoo do you use, is set to be the highpoint of parliamentary as well as media scrutiny in 2020.”

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