MARKED SAFE IN A WALK IN FRIDGE : FLASHMAN PRODUCTIONS, famous for chronicling Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s meteridiotic rise to the top of the Conservative and Unionist (theoretical) Party has announced a new FEATURE documentary, to hit screens (like a rotten tomato) in 2020. Splat!
“Dude, Where’s my Prime Minister?” is being filmed as we go to print in South Wales, Yorkshire and other places of the UK that it’s highly likely Mr Johnson could even name, if he could even be assed to try.
Big budget house, COBRA Productions, were initially expected to be involved in the documentary, but pulled out before filming started, stating “We didn’t even know it was happening? Wait? What? There’s flooding?”
The film itself will zero in on Mr Johnson’s visible, public reactions to the flooding that is currently ravaging many areas of the country. His difficulties walking the Downing Street dog in a deluge and how Carrie is managing to keep her hair looking less insane than her lover’s.
“It will actually be a short film,” a spokesman for Flashman told LCD Views, “incredibly short. It’s incorrect to call it a feature. It’s not really even a short. At the moment all it is is a poster.”
But why so short?
“Because of a flaw in the premise, I’m happy to admit.”
And what’s that?
“We decided to focus on Mr Johnson’s visible, public reaction to the floods causing misery and terror across the country, his leadership of communities in crisis, and not his big dreams for big bridges. And right now his visible reaction to the floods is zero.”
Perhaps you should have filmed a fly on the wall documentary about Mr Johnson spending all this week on holiday, regardless of what’s happening to the country…