Downing Street demands French navy sink any British fishing vessel that strays into EU waters

Hook Line And Stinker : What you going to do? You have to take back control of your borders, especially the WET ones, especially the ones containing YOUR fish.

So goes the thinking inside the lairs of mad geniuses, located at Downing Street, the Kremlin, Washington and Tufton Street today, as they guide the United Kingdom into an entertaining, if somewhat slippery, future.

“It’s almost as if the mad, kleptomaniac, offshore, tax evading billionaire fuknuckles that have bought and paid for Brexit were so bored they thought, let’s see if we can get the English and French to have a war again? Let’s see if we can start it over fish? That’ll be the prize catch of Brexit,” suggests our very own fishy affairs expert.

“Or maybe they just wanted to really humiliate the UK? Just how stupid can we make it look, collectively, before it breaks apart into different low tax, zero regulation territories?”

But whatever the motivation, the warning from Downing Street to the EU that we’ve bought a couple of extra ships and we’re prepared to fire on the Continentals if we DON’T GET WHAT WE WANT, that warning will be heard.

“There is some appreciation thought of the even handedness of the latest bit of jingoistic nonsense in Brussels,” our EXPERT adds, “I mean they could just have warned we’ll sink the French! But to also request that they sink any of our fishing vessels that stray into their territorial waters? That shows the pragmatism that Brits are famous for hasn’t completely sunk without trace with Brexit.”

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