Study finds Black Death mortality rate could have been halved by involving electoral fraud specialists

FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF GIANTS : A BRITISH SCIENTIFIC STUDY INTO THE BLACK DEATH PLAGUES OF THE 14TH CENTURY has concluded that our medieval ancestors could learn a lot from the current approach (by the UK) to pandemic crisis management.

“The medieval kings got the messaging all wrong,” lead researcher on the study, Ducktor Quack, told LCD Views, “you can convince people to put up with anything, if you get the story right. Not straight you understand, but right. You can even convince enough to abandon a supranational club that protects their rights, and enfranchises them, all on a mandate gained from a provably corrupted referendum.”

Ducktor Quack goes on to reveal that it is the belief of the researchers that the mortality rate for Bubonic Plague, anywhere between 50-90% for afflicted communities, could have been halved with additional gaslighting and slogans.

“They needed to ramp up the messaging, just prior to the pandemic peaking. The mass prayers were useful, but they didn’t strain every sinew. They really didn’t do whatever it takes. I understand availability of plague doctor outfits was also insufficient.”

Quack suggests that the inability of Edward III to manage the Black Death was down in part to the quality of his advisors.

“It was clearly a great flaw not to have any specialists in electoral fraud advising the King, and the Archbishop. If you’re going to thin a herd you need the herd looking anywhere but at the thinning. As it was most people were staring at their pustules. You’re never going to win public approval unless the cyst on the leadership is both concealed, and doesn’t burst all over the peasants.”

But critics of the study have hit back in defence of Edward III. They have said that Edward was generally distracted by having been given a name that numerous kings had, and that was all very confusing.

“Also, there weren’t elections at the time. People achieved positions through patronage, backhanders, ill gotten gains, threats and class system, often regardless of any inherent talent to do the job they wanted. So it’s no surprise that the management of the crisis was little better than a 21st century, wealthy and industrialised country letting hobby eugenicists and proven electoral fraudsters coordinate its response.”

But that could never happen in Blighty. In this green and pleasant land we follow the science.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/sep/07/smash-and-grab-dominic-cummings-democracy

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