THE PARTY OF LAW AND ORDER : YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING, those that play together, stay together and there’s no more important time to play with your family than while you are potentially carrying a highly infectious, lethal virus across the country.
And following on from the recent revelations that the UK’s actual prime minister, D Cummings, has broken the laws regarding Covid-19 on more than one occasion, the law itself is reacting to ensure families can stay united.
“There’s one important proviso,” a source inside 10 Downing Street said, “you can now break any law you want, and get away with it, in fact the Attorney General herself will defend you, but.”
But what?
“But you must have done so in the interests of your children.”
But how can you prove that?
“You can’t. It’s an internal decision. Well, you could provide messaging or diary entries I suppose to back up your claim, but evidence is rather irrelevant. Just make the claim. MAKE THE CLAIM and get away with it.”
The new legal avenue away from consequence will be welcomed by the many tens of thousands of prisoners inside UK prisons and those awaiting sentencing.
“We had to make the change otherwise we risk having a country where there is one law for rich, powerful people and one for the poor. We can not have that. It undermines the entire concept of rule of law, and just as importantly, public health messaging. Democracy itself is in danger.”
But there are some critics of the change, notably from the legal profession.
“That’s us out of business,” one lawyer said, “once everyone knows that in order to avoid prosecution you can simply say you did it for your children. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. I guess I’ll find a new profession. It won’t be childcare, the country is now full of parents who will risk anything to care for their offspring, even killing the grandparents with a novel virus.”
And one more important change will also follow the new regime emanating from 10 Downing Street.
“From now on all new laws will be published in duplicate,” our Downing Street insider reveals, “one law for everyone else, and one law for Dominic Cummings.”