60 odd Tory MP’s write to Theresa May demanding to smell napalm in the mornings

LCD Views is ecstatic for democracy today with the news a rabble of sixty odd (very odd) Tory MP’s have writen a letter to prime minister Theresa May demanding to smell napalm in the mornings.

”They love the smell of napalm in the mornings,” Priti Patel, somehow still an MP, said of her colleagues in the ERG (it’s exactly the same as the Borg).

”They think the best way to get that heady scent right into the nostrils of the whole country is to start with complete economic instability.”

It’s a good starting point.

”After all, we send so many bombs overseas each year, why not sell some at home?”

A good point. It would certainly help re-vitalise the British tradition of civil war.

”Clearly the GFA is a bit of a stumbling block, so our solution to that is fuck it then. It’s only Irish people who will suffer and with our plan to enforce a naval blockade in the Irish Sea none of those troublemakers will make it over here.”

Its not clear how Theresa May will respond to the demands of the disaster capitalists, who would burn the world for a quick buck.

Terror probably. Catatonic confusion, certainly.

”Theresa is locked in the toilet shouting at the toilet brush,” Damien Green told LCD, “in theory she’s practising set lines for the Chequers team building workshop, but security have been in five times already this morning to ask what all the confused screaming means.”

Is it  coming to the end game time for Theresa the Appeaser?

”It’s their heads on spikes,” Damien agreed, “or hers. And if it hers, it’s the entire country’s. Fight the ERG or be assimilated.”

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