HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S LYING : GREAT NEWS TODAY with the announcement by archaeologists that they have discovered the remains of the last Tory MP to tell the truth.
The search has been on for sometime with many in the country believing there must once have been an honest Conservative MP? Just no one can remember when. Especially not when faced with the current endless parade of charlatans today.
“We are very pleased with our discovery,” lead excavator on the dig, Colin Astounds, told LCD Views. “When we started our search many told us it was pointless. But finally, with the discovery of the bones at a ruined abbey carpark we can say we have done it.”
The name of the MP is currently being kept confidential.
“This is just so any living descendants can be located and informed of the discovery of the remains. If they themselves are Tories, or if one is even an MP, hearing that in the long, lost past one of their ancestors once told the truth? It would be publicly very shameful. They would become a laughing stock amongst their entirely dishonourable contemporaries.”
What the truth was the MP told is not entirely clear, but legend has it he coined a phrase that has changed little since its invention.
“I can tell you what he said. The one truthful thing,” Colin Astounds said. “He told family members and constituents, who had gathered by his deathbed, the following, ‘When I die my lips will stop moving and in this way you will know I am no longer lying’.”