LCD Views has received disturbing rumours from our entertainment correspondent in Brussels this afternoon suggesting the inventor of Ali G and other comic characters has been placed under house arrest while EU business leaders visit with Ms May to determine if she is real.
“We are serious people,” a representative for the twelve business leaders visiting the UK purportedly said.
“It has been suspected for some time that the United Kingdom is currently being run by an improvisation acting group. We aim to find out if this is so once and for all. Remember, the lives of millions are affected by the UK government’s actions, whether they realise it or not.”
Confirmation that Theresa May, and other key government ministers, are actually actors would make sense of a lot that has gone on across the channel from the mainland for the last eighteen months.
“We thought further,” the representative advised, “if Ms May is now being played by a comedian, who is the most likely to pull it off? Why, Mr Baron Cohen of course.”
To this end it is believed a court order was sought, granted and enforced during the night to take the famous inventor of crazed characters into custody until the delegation of twelve had actually met the person currently pretending to be British prime minister.
“It seems they are two different people,” the spokesman later added, “although special effects are so advanced these days, it could be the representatives actually met with a simulation being broadcast. So we are going to have to keep Mr Cohen for a little bit longer to be certain.”
Apparently the meeting didn’t settle the issue because Ms May, or whoever is currently playing her, sat through the entire meeting repeating endlessly, “the best deal for Britain”, while across a table from twelve people already enjoying the best deal possible and puzzled as to what on Earth she thought she could achieve.
“It is probably, and perhaps more worryingly, true that Ms May is a real person. Mr Cohen is very funny. What we are seeing now with the United Kingdom is more like a stage adaptation of ‘The Shining’.”