SOLID IRON PYRITE : Relief in No’s 10 and 11 Downing Street today after the PM and his current partner were cleared of redecorating the place in gold wallpaper.
For several days now the massive scale of pandemic death, and the associated untendered contracts, have been kept off the front pages by fevered speculation as to who paid for the refurbishment of the squalid little flat our rulers were expected to dwell in?
So too the collapse in the fishing and farming sectors. Also the fact Mr Johnson’s Brexit Deal has destabilised Northern Ireland, putting a very hard won peace at risk just for his fleeting self-advancement.
Thankfully now the questions about the refurb can be ignored. It’s time to move on.
“It clearly doesn’t matter who paid for the refurb if all the materials are knock-offs,” a Downing Street source commented, certain to be mirrored by opinion formers at The Telegraph.
“The real victims here are the prime minister and the spotless much younger woman he left his cancer stricken wife and their children for. It’s a test of their characters how they’ve coped with the shameful jibes about egregious spending in a time when millions face food poverty.”
The discovery that the wallpaper is fool’s gold will also bring a smile to close watchers of the power couple.
“It neatly symbolises the pair of them. Clutching for status and thinking they’ve attained it when really they’ve been on a fool’s errand. We just don’t really now who sent them on it.”
Presumably the lingering queries over who paid for their holiday to Mustique last year, just as the pandemic was starting to rip, can also be resolved by the revelation they actually holidayed in a bedsit in Thanet with Nigel Farage.