Boris Johnson blames Sadiq Khan for collapse in U.K. fishing

HOOK LINE AND STINKER : The Prime Minister is not one to let the purdah which covers the build up to an election get in the way of abusing his position. The recent televised update on social restrictions was no different.

“It all went exactly to plan,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “The people’s prime minister empathised as only he can over the dark valley of Death he has led the people into and then abused the opportunity for dishonourable ends. Classic Johnson. Par excellence.”

And while many expected the Prime Minister to level the blame at the last Labour government for the collapse in the U.K. fishing industry post-Brexit, Mr Johnson was full of surprises.

“He drove a JCB right through that styrofoam mayor,” the source beamed. “I bet Khan was spitting chips. Much like the country’s fishermen.”

This will be because everyone now knows that not only did Mr Khan pick up the baton of massive debt that Johnson left TFL’s finances in, and fail to capitalise on it, he also destroyed fishing.

“So long as the client journalists refuse to correct the falsehoods of the prime minister his base will believe it. That’s what is important. By barring U.K. fishing fleets access to the London market Khan has done more harm to the industry than Johnson ever did by leading a campaign to cut fishermen off from their continental markets.”


“If you want to know the truth of things all you have to do is look at the tireless efforts of Mr Johnson when he campaigned in the fishing industry’s best interests in front of posters that said to Vote Leave.”

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